Games Like Silly Potato — Home-Run Edition

Your cursor is gone. In its place: a chunky wooden baseball bat that follows your mouse (or your controller stick) like a very violent balloon. In front of you, on a tee, sits a potato. It has googly eyes. It has a little speech bubble that says "I am a potato." You have ten seconds. SMACK IT. Every hit stacks damage - 40%, 300%, 900%, and there is no cap. Chain your hits for a combo multiplier. Then hold the button to wind up a MEGA SWING, let go at full charge, and launch that spud so far into the sky it starts yelling about destiny. Distance in feet is your score. That's it. That's the leaderboard.

Once it's airborne, the potato becomes a screaming yellow comet with opinions: "I HAVE BEEN CHOSEN", "WITNESS ME!!", "MOM GET THE CAMERA", "THE SKY TASTES BUTTERY" - over two dozen one-liners, hollered mid-arc. The sky is littered with randomly scattered coin clusters. Thread through them and they're yours. Miss them and think about your choices. Coins buy upgrades, upgrades buy more feet, more feet buy more coins. The loop closes with an audible click. Down on the ground, a distance sign every 100 feet keeps score with over sixty potato puns, because someone had to say SPUDNIK, taterhawk, get forked, holy mash!, and no gods no mashers out loud.

There is a bat. There is a potato. There is the horizon, and the potato is going to meet it. "I am a potato." - the potato, moments before takeoff