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Porch Pirate Defender screenshot 1
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Games Like Porch Pirate Defender

Release date TBA·Hofmann Computer Systems e.U.
Porch Pirate Defender: View on SteamBuy Porch Pirate Defender at Steam
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Porch pirates keep stealing your parcels? Time for payback. Build a booby-trapped box of glitter, paint and firecrackers, set it on the porch and watch from the window as sneaky thieves grab it… and get launched into a cloud of color. Nobody gets hurt. Just thoroughly embarrassed.

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About Porch Pirate Defender

Your doorstep. Your parcels. Your glitter. Your Big Bang!

Porch pirates have been helping themselves to your deliveries for weeks. Enough is enough! Off to the workshop, grab the biggest box you can find and start packing: glitter, paint powder, an explosive charge – and a trigger that goes off the second anyone lifts the parcel.

Then you carry your masterpiece out to the porch, scurry back inside and claim the best seat in the house: the window right next to the front door. And you wait. Somewhere out there, someone is already tiptoeing closer…

What awaits you

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The Workshop: Pack your parcels block by block into a grid box – glitter, paint, triggers and nozzles. Every combination ends differently. Over 10,000 possible parcel variations! That’s enough to fend off any thief on the block!
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Front-row seat: Everything in first person – tinker at the workbench, plant the bait on the porch, watch from the window.
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Thieves with character: the fitness fanatic who deadlifts your parcel like it’s leg day, the wannabe ninja on a kick scooter, the heist planner with her trusty clipboard, the spy in a trench coat that’s way too conspicuous, JellyBean the neighbor on a bike that’s been begging for retirement since 2009, the busybody from the corner who never misses a thing… and plenty more.
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Full-blown physics: Porch stairs, railing, hedge and doormat all join the show. The bigger the bang, the farther the thieves fly… Who’ll be the first to launch granny onto the roof?
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Instant replay: Relive the best moments through your PeekaBell doorbell cam.
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Stars for style: Up to three stars per round – trade them for more room in the box, beefier air pumps and fancier glitter. The more stars you rack up, the more ingredients you unlock. Dig through Grandpa’s basement full of dusty relics for parcels with extra punch – or find Great-Grandpa’s attic, where he once stashed a few sticks of dynamite…
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The aftermath: Outraged thieves, sparkling getaway cars – and every now and then, a not-so-bright thief calls the police on themselves.

Steam data © 2026 Valve Corporation. Trademarks are property of their respective owners.

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