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Release date TBA·deskgeneral
Sir, We have a Situation: View on SteamBuy Sir, We have a Situation at Steam
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A deadpan military idle game. Command a battalion against absurd giant objects: a pigeon, a rubber duck, a bouncy castle, the Sun. Hire troops, build your camp, call in air strikes, and keep the paperwork in order. Sixteen targets. Command has noted all of them.

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About Sir, We have a Situation

Command has identified a threat. The threat is a pigeon.

Sir, We Have A Situation is a deadpan incremental game about fighting giant, ridiculous objects with a very serious army. Hold fire, collect the supplies that fall out of every hit, build a camp, hire and train troops, and take down sixteen increasingly absurd targets, from a pigeon on a Tuesday to the Moon, the Sun and the First Pigeon.

How it plays

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Fire, earn, upgrade. Hold the mouse on a target to fire. Every hit knocks supplies loose. Spend them on barracks, mortars, rifle squads, tanks, a field gun and the Command Tent itself.
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Targets with opinions. Each of the sixteen targets has a weak point, a resistance and an ability that fights back: the Pigeon flaps your troops flat, the Robot Vacuum sucks them in and goes to dock when hurt, the Bouncy Castle deflates, the Vending Machine wants a coin, the Enormous Cat is indifferent to all of it and knocks things off the table.
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Call in support. Air Strike, Rally and Supply Run on cooldowns. Catch airdrops that parachute in during a fight. Open Supply Caches. Take the quartermaster's calls, and answer the radio when Command offers a trade-off.
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Weather and sectors. Five sectors (farmland, desert, tundra, suburbs and seaside) and eight kinds of weather change what works.

A campaign that keeps going

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Salvage. Every first kill leaves a wreck. Keep one part from it for the rest of the operation. Sixteen parts, with set bonuses for matching pairs.
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Reassignment. Start a new operation in a new sector and keep your medals, doctrine and commendations. The War Table is a map of 38 doctrines to spend them on.
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Advisors and items. Thirty-four items dropped by the things you beat, in four qualities (Common to Legendary), worn by your staff.
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49 commendations in a medal case, ribbons for your service record, and a Campaign Archive that fills in as you go.
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Camp pets. Tiny versions of the things you defeated join your camp. There is a kennel. Yes, they can be petted.
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Exercises, threat levels and the Gauntlet for when you want a harder fight, and three finales for when you finish.
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It keeps working while you are away. Close the game, come back, read the report.

Why this one

Most idle games hide the joke in a spreadsheet. This one puts the spreadsheet in a military briefing room, hands the radio to a pigeon, and plays it completely straight. The art is pixel-style and every target has its own personality.

Try the free demo

The demo covers the first seven targets and two sectors, about an hour or more of play. Your save can come with you to the full game.

Steam data © 2026 Valve Corporation. Trademarks are property of their respective owners.

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