







Games Like Clanker Calamity
A turn-based robot programming race for 2 to 8 players. Load five instruction cards face down, then watch every plan collide with belts, rams, lasers, shafts, and each other on a factory floor that never got the memo. Solo, online, or on the couch with friends in party mode.
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Match strength key:80+65+50+<50Clanker Calamity
SteamAbout Clanker Calamity
Plant 7 never got the memo
Plant 7 was decommissioned in 2049. Nobody told Plant 7.
The belts still run. The rams still fire on schedule. The welding lasers still sweep the aisles for unauthorized personnel, which they have decided includes everyone. And the payroll subroutine, which survived the shutdown intact, still pays a shift completion bonus to the first bot to clock in at every station on its route.
The bonus has not been redeemable since the company dissolved. The bots do not know this. The bots do not care.
Program with confidence. Then watch it fall apart.
You do not steer. Each shift you are dealt a hand of instruction cards and commit five of them, in order, face down. Then every bot on the floor runs its first instruction at once, then its second, and so on to five. Between each one the plant takes its turn: belts carry you sideways, turntables spin you, rams shove you, crushers come down, lasers fire. Bots collide and shove each other out of the way.
Your plan is usually wrong by step two. The game is watching a machine march into an open shaft with total confidence, then writing a better plan next shift.
Damage is the pressure valve. Every dent past the second costs you a card next shift. At five, your slots start jamming shut with whatever was in them, so you re-run old orders you can no longer change. At ten dents the unit is scrapped, and at clock-out you reboot on a fresh chassis at your reboot point: the last clock you punched, or in Deathmatch the quietest starting point.
The plant isn't malicious, but it feels that way
Every hazard runs on a schedule you can read, and none of it is random. Nothing is hidden. Everything is timing.
The co-workers
Every seat nobody is sitting in is played by a bot, and your opponents are characters rather than difficulty levels. The Overcommitter sticks to a plan that was reasonable when it wrote it and is now catastrophic. The Thrillseeker knows the path and does not respect the hazards. The Terminator does not care about the clocks; it cares about you. And two of them, the Supercomputer and the Clanker 9000, read your program before they write their own. We say so up front, because the whole game is that everyone commits blind, and an opponent who does not is a puzzle you deserve to see coming.
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The story so far
The decommissioning order went out by email. Plant 7 does not have email. It has a work-order link, a payroll subroutine and a badge reader, and none of them were on the distribution list. The company dissolved the following spring, and the power was on a fifty-year contract that cost more to cancel than to let run.
Every night the break room lights come on and the units line up for work orders, over a link that carries five instructions and then has to reset. So a shift is five instructions. That is not a rule. That is bandwidth.
The welding lasers check badges before they fire. The badge server was in the main office, and the main office is a parking lot. So they fire.
Above the break room door there is a safety board. It reads DAYS SINCE LAST CALAMITY, and it has read 0 since 2049. Nobody has been available to change it. Nothing has happened to justify changing it.
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